Wednesday, December 26, 2007

BitterSweet

It's been a while since the last post.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Influence

ABC nightline interviewed one of my favorite singer, Seal. The topic is about "Inspiration Behind His Music". He just released a new Album "System" this week. He stated the most important person who inspired him to sing was his teacher. From a boy who never sing to a successful singer and song writer. One of his billboard song is "Kiss from a rose", soundtrack of the Batman. He mentioned about this song on his interviewing session. It is "Times like these" by Foo Fighter. He said love the sentiment of the song and the chorus.
Well, since I am easily influenced, I searched in youtube right away. Here are three of many versions of this song.

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again



I am a one way motorway
I’m the one that drives away
Then follows you back home
I am a street light shining
I’m a wild light blinding bright
Burning off alone

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

Thursday, November 22, 2007

What a life?

My life is so simple these days. No exciting things 24/7. It's like I am cruising on a smooth asphalt road. After I came back from Nan trip, everthing started to calm down. Here is my simple plan for a day. I get up around 7AM. Get myself ready to work. Hop on the car and drive to the University. Make a quick stop to get a cup of ice coffee at gas station along the way. About 8:30AM, I park the car and chat with some grad students for about 15 minutes. Then I move myself to my office on 7th floor. After I get to my desk, I turn on the computer and log on to my hotmail and check if there is any update on friends' blogs. If there is notthing new that means I get to start working. I move things around on my table. I don't know why I have to do this almost every morning. Maybe it is just to kill some time before I start working. I open up files for classes and start preparing the lectures. Half hour or so before 11:15AM I log on to MSN to send a message to Yasmin. 11:10AM get in the elevator. 11:15AM pick up Yasmin to lunch. 12:00-12:15PM back to the department. Stop to drop some snack at graduate student's room. Make a quick chat before taking elevator to 7th floor. By the time I come back from lunch, other faculties are still having lunch. They usually invite me to have some food or desserts. Of course, no hesitation to try some. After that, I am back to my office and continue with what I am doing in the morning. Before going home I stop at Bar Mai to get some food for dinner. After I get to my room and change my outfit, I immediately have my TV on. Unwrap my dinner and enjoy TV dining. Water my cacti every 3 days. After that I turn to be a potato couch. Take shower and go to bed around midnight. That's all for my day, mostly. It is so simple. Too simple.

I sometime wonder what will others do in their free time? I sometime feel guilty because I know I have a lot of things to do. There are million things in the world that I don't know but I still kill the time by watching soap opera. While I am watching TV and killing cells in my brain other may read books, doing excercise or do whatever more beneficial activities. I don't just think about this today but I have been thinking about this issue for quite a while but I can't change my life style. The devil inside me always win.

Think about our life is so short. I am now 32 and I don't think I will live beyond 80. That means I have 48 years to go. I have 28 working years. Based on 8 working hours a day and 22 days a month I have 59136 working hours left. I want to make my life more useful after I spent my parents and goverment resources to make my way on education... Let's make a quick calculation, suppose my parents spent 1000 bath a month since I was born to 12 years old, and 3000 baht when I was 13-17 and 6000 baht when I was 18-21 and 10000 when I was 22-32,
12*12*1000=144000
5*12*3000=180000
4*12*6000=288000
11*12*10000=1320000
Total = 1932000
This is the minimum they spent with me and it is not including the subsidization from community tax in term of scholarship the government provided.

Let's say if I give my parents 5000 baht every month for the next 28 years (it is even impossible for now), it is only 1680000 baht. What is a kind of investment?

After using all resouces, I am called a well educated person but I still don't have a certain plan for my life. Oh! that is to far...I still don't have plan for next week!!...suck...what a shame!!!!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Jerk & Gent

I was very disappointed after he canceled his concert in Thailand last year. Of all this, he is still my most favarite male singer. Some of you may have heard his songs eg. Angle, Supreme, Rock DJ. etc. Some may have heard about his wierd and outrages behaviors. Most of his songs (>70%) contain explicit lyrics but he had it composed in very interesting ways. An article said his songs will make you more energetic because the beat is synchronized well with your heart beat. When I heard this article, it was very questionable. Again, I tried to prove this hypothesis. I listened to his songs and matched the beats with my heart beats. The result showed most of his song matched well with my heart beats but I was not sure that it make me more energetic. I embeded two versions of his performance. One when he is a jerk, the other is when he is a gent! What do you think of him if you see these performances in different time?


Friday, November 02, 2007

I am going to visit Nan province.

I am going to visit Nan this weekend. Nan is one of northern province that I have never been to

Sunday, October 21, 2007

English Language

I got it from a FWD mail. Very good point, indeed.

> Let's face it: English is a strange language. There is
> no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and
> neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English
> muffins were not invented in England, French fries
> were not invented in France.
>
> We sometimes take English for granted. But if we
> examine its paradoxes we find that: Quicksand takes
> you down slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea
> pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
> If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the
> plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of
> phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher taught, why
> didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats
> vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
>
> Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
> Park on driveways and drive on parkways. You have to
> marvel at the unique lunacy! of a language where a
> house can burn up as it burns down and in which you
> fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only
> heard once it goes!
>
> English was invented by people, not computers, and it
> reflects the creativity of the human race (which of
> course isn't a race at all). That is why when the
> stars are out they are visible, but when the lights
> are out they are invisible... And why it is that when
> I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this
> story it ends?
>
> And some more food for "Thought"...
>
> Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
> adultery?
>
> Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,

> but a person who drives a race car not called a
> racist?
>
> Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
>
> Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
>
>! ; If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean
> to make terrible?
>
> If lawyers are disbarred and clergy-men defrocked,
> doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
> musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
> tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
>
> Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one
> billion stars in the universe you will believe them,
> but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will
> have to touch it to be sure?
>
> If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
> several times, does he become disoriented?
>
> If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't
> people from Holland called "Holes?"

Friday, October 12, 2007

Don't Think That You Are So Important

Before the host closed the program for the night, she asked the guests what did they learn from each other. The old guy said sometime he picked her idea to used in his lecture. "Some look far ahead and forget to watch the step they are walking, final they fail". This old couple were married when they are in their 60, totally different in the way of thinking. One is very artistic when another is very academic but they were made for each other. The old guy said they went along very well because they fulfill each other. The old lady look very lovely even in her late 60s. The host asked what make she look so happy and always has good attitude toward everything and asked her to give good word for a married couple. Her answer is very sharp but sincere. She answered "Humor is what everyone need" "I can say it because I am old" The key is "Don't think that you are so important". When you do, you will take everything too seriously and never be happy. It even better if you can laugh at yourself." The old guy answer was very interesting too. He said when you feel for someone, or treat someone as your special person, always remind yourself this feeling is depend upon 'time and space'. Keep to yourself that there is 'time and space'. This will help you adaptable or evolutionable on every situation.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Return to Innocence

This morning I was listening to Mr. Manote while I'm driving to work. He played this song. This song cooled me off and gave me pleasant driving through the chaotic traffic.



"Return To Innocence"

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

A Better Living Quality

I feel so much better after I had my TV fixed (actually, I should say after I fixed my TV). The signal doesn't come out crystal clear but, I guess, I got the best I can get from that handicap satellite disc. My landlord (again) told me the TV signal in our complex is not clear because there is a problem with the signal booster and the age cable wiring system. I thought her assumption was right. I called it assumption because there is no prove of it.

I started an investigation on 'her assumption' after my TV signal gone wild. I found out neither the booster or cable were the suspects. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what is on roof top of my building. It was a black object shape similar to a satlelite disc! I can't say it is a sattelite disc because it looks more like a broken open umbrella. It's very rediculous that my landlord never think she will replace it with new one!!! She blamed it on the poor booster and cable. It is definitely Type II error at p<0.00000000001!!!

My landlord Ho : The signal booster and age cable wiring system causes bad signal.

My landlord Ha : !@!#$#% I dunt know and I'm not gonna shread my sweat to think about it! none my bu'ness.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Swan Lake


This past Sunday I went to Thailand Cultural Centre for the Swan Lake ballet. This show was a part of Bangkok's 9th International Festival of Dance and Music and in celebration of His Majesty the King’s 80th Birthday. The ballet was performed by National Ballet of Portugal and Ekaterinburg Symphony Orchestra. This was my a first time to see a professional ballet in live action.

I thought ballet is for up-class girls whose their parents spend a fortune for ballet lessons just to make them classy. But when you see these professional dancers perform, you will forget about those girls. I was amazed by the way they move. Every movements they made seemed like they were floating above the surface. When a male performer lift his partner up with his two arms, it seemed like she was actually flying.

I still have no idea about the story of the Swan Lake and not yet to look up on the internet to learn it's story.

After the ballet, we (Juleitte, Mary and I) had a nice dinner at the Basilico, an Italian resturant on Sukhumvit 33. This restaurant has big front glass windows area and a big wood-fire oven. We ordered a special pizza and Tortelloni stuffed with ground beef and gargonzola sauce to share. I felt like I was no longer in Thailand. There were not more than 5 Thais dining in. I found out later that this restuarant is on the lists of 150 top resturants in BKK. That is why the food was so good and I could hardly move after all.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Homo sapiens

It was almost a month of living without live TV program. I was very pissed off by a stupid, unresponsible landlord. It took only 10 minutes to fix the problem but she let it tortured me for over three weeks. I went to tell her that I fixed it already and asked her had she ever sent someone to check for the problem. She said she checked the control box and there was no problem with the signal. da!!! The fact is she never take a sh_t to take care of this problem! What should I say?

Aj. Nongnuch told us a joke when we were driving to Sri Racha. Do you know what scientific name of human being is? The answer is Homo sapiens . Everyone in scientific area knew it for sure. But do you know, human can be classified into two subspecies; H. sapiens sapiens and H.sapiens stupidous.

Q: What is a right classification of my landlord?
A: ____________________ (fill in the blank please)

Monday, September 24, 2007

I Chose to be in Heaven

I was never satisfy with who I am. I couldn't admit who I am. I couldn't accept that I am weak. I couldn't do what I wanted to. I couldn't travel as far as I wanted to. I spelled these curses to myself just for torturing my soul. I judged myself for not being a good person. These curses had put me in the ring of fire. I was suffered everytimes I did something bad and I never let it go easily because I wanted to be good person (in others eyes). THAT WAS MY PROBLEM. I judged myself too harsh. I drew a line for everything I did and I usually couldn't follow it. When I broke the line, I felt guity. I couldn't admit everybody can make mistake including me. I forgive others so easily but not to myself. WHY!!! BECAUSE I NEVER SATISFY WITH WHO I AM AND I NEVER LEARN TO DEAL WITH THE TRUTH!!! The truth that nobody is perfect!

Not long ago, I went to the worst peroid of my life. When you reached the lowest point. It was like when you are drowing, you would do anything to lift your head above water. I realized it was time to change my attitude toward myself and others. I CHOSE TO BE ME! no matter how bad I am, how many more mistakes I will make, I will live with it! I chose to be happy. I CHOSE TO BE IN HEAVEN.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Souvenir from Aumi's dad.



Aumi's dad gave me these cacti on my first visit to their home! So nice of him. I want to show him progression of his cacti. They grow very fast (probably because I take good care of it ;>). I separated them into 5 big pots and many small containers. One in a big pot and all the small one were given away. Actually, these cacti grow very fast themself. I am just water them regulary, give them fertilizer and insecticide from time to time.








This furry one is also from Aumi's house.


When I got them from Aumi's dad.

Monday, September 17, 2007

My cacti collection

Ho ho ho, I have a digital camera (even it is for temporary). I was waiting to show you guys my cacti collection. And it is time!!! I borrowed a digital camera from my friend (very much thanks to her). I took bunch of photos after I was envy Pa Larp for having such a nice picture of her cacti collection for quite a while....(555).


I started my collection about 2 and half years ago. I began with 2-3 of them and now there are almost 250. They were everywhere on my balcony before my dad got the shelf up for me. He visited me last month and saw the mess on the balcony so he built me a shelf for cacti. He said he will build two more. That means I will have space for more cacti..... I am so glad he likes my cacti otherwise I have to stop getting a new one because of limited space. He is such a wonderful dad.

Round or Oval


Can you tell me the pattern of my dress is round or oval dots? I thought I bought a dress with round dots print but why it turn out to be oval dots 555.







A close up look!

TV gone wild


The final episote of "เมื่อดอกรักบาน" is showing tonight. BUTTTTTTT...you see what happen to my TV! I told my landlord to fix this problem many times. It's been more than 2 weeks since the first notice. If I miss the episote tonight, I will blame it all to her! All she said was I will try to get the cable guy to fix it as soon as possible and now it's been over 2 weeks!!!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

High

Today I went to see my dentist. She replaced what she calls "loop" with a rubber C-chain. I noticed one of my teeth is shorter than others so I asked her what was happened to it. She said she intend to make it shorter. Should I believe her? But...what can I say? She is a dentist!!! If I argue her, she may pull all my teeth out!!

Here is the song I want to dedicate it to one of my friend (and myself too). It may not quite fit the situation she is facing but I hope it helps.

"When you're close to tears remember, someday it'll all be over. One day we're gonna get so high........."

"One day it will all be over." No matter good or bad, happiness or sad, come across your life...always remember... sooner or later it will all be over.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Someday We'll Know

I really love this song from the first moment I heard it. It might be because everything were perfectly timing for me when this song was played on the radio. I was driving home and felt so tired after a long hour working in the lab. My mind was kind of out of place because there were so many issues in the lab and so many issue going on with me. So I decided to detour to the botanical garden. It was about 10 minutes driving from the campus. It was in fall so there were not many green out there. I sat in the car and had the radio on while trying to get my mind back. This garden was one of my sanctuary when I felt bad. I had about half hour before the garden was closed. It was very cold and quiet. All I heard was sound of leaves moving and falling on the ground. It sounds sad but you know...sometime being in a quiet place makes you hear your voice louder.

I had the radio on. This song played and caught me right away. I didn't catch all the words at the begining and didn't even know it's name or the artist. The song begins with "Ninety miles outside Chicago. Can't stop driving I don't know why". ha...I'd been to Chicago...what are they talking about Chicago?...It sounds a love song..... After some research (sounds seroius ha..), it is a love song, sound track from movie "A Walk to Rememer". The lyric is very beautiful and touching ,but still, there are some words that I don't know the depth meaning such as "Did the captain of the Titanic cry?'. Some said they mean the cantain in the first made Titanic film. What made him cry??? His boat sank or his love one was dead, I wonder. Here is the lyric.


I like the sentence 'I'm speeding by the place I met you for the ninety-seventh time tonight'. I think he was hurt everytime he drove pass the place they met. He knew to his heart that it was hurt but he did it for 97 times, why??? It might be because at the 98th time he will see she is standing right there.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

YOUTUBE is back!!

I'm so glad that youtube can be viewed again. In my opinion, there is no reason to block youtube in order to stop veiwers from getting to unappropriate contents.
I was in Prajuab-keereekan last weekend and had a chance to visit research station belong to DOF. I last visited this place 15-16 years ago when I was a freshman. If you guys still remember, we had a field trip for General Fisheries class. We visited many places including this research station. One of a remarkable memory from this field trip is the nurse shark in a big tank near the mountain. So bad, that shark is dead. They replaced it with a new one name Sparky. An officer told us, the name "Sparky" was given by a daughther of Prince Chulaborn. Sparky is very friendly. It will come to get fish from your hand and you can even touch it. But be careful, it is very naughty one. It will splash water and make you soaking wet if it see you hold fish in your hand and don't pass the fish to it.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

ผมนายมาโนช บุตรของนายเฉลียวและนางอำไพ

If you tune your radio to FM 99.5, you would be familiar with this phrase. Every morning, Mr. Manoch hosts a radio program "The radio 99.5 FM". He is now my favorite radio host. He open up my day with good songs and good food for my soul. It is not too much for what I've just said. He start his program with a "theme story", from a current topic back to a memory from his childhood. Everyday he will come up with interesting ideas. Some of them are so common until you never think that he can make it so enjoyable. Well, if you are youngster you may found he is not that "cool". But, if you are 30+, please don' t tell me that the topic he raise doesn't catch you. Don't believe me???? You have to prove it for yourself.

You can enjoy online "The Radio 99.5 FM" from http://theradio.siamportals.com/.


Sunday, August 26, 2007

"The Four Agreements"

"Easier said than done"


When I finished reading this book, I thought to myself, from now on... my life will change. I will be a better person. I will live happily in every moment. I will be a person who respect itself without a question. I even thought about translate this book into Thai for it would be easier to share it to friends. A week later, after I tried to follow these "four ageements", I found it was not easy to stay with these rules. I started questioning myself "Can you do it?" "Is this the right thing for me? Do these agreements make me a better person?. I answered myself "These four agreements won't make me a better person but they will make me a more happy person. At least, they blocked me from a needless suffering.

Friday, August 24, 2007

:One night standing:

A moment of joy is usually be with you for only short period of time and you forget it so easily. A moment of sadness seems to live longer and stain your heart. So don’t let this truth fool you. Don’t let the sadness overcome the happiness that is yet to come!!!
Back to the topic, remember I mentioned about what inspired me to begin this blog once again. It is my cacti. When I woke up this morning, as usual, I checked my cacti collection to see if there is any change. Something caught my eyes. One of my cacti bloomed. Actually, this cactus gave me flowers couple of times during past 6 months but I missed it. It only bloom in early morning and does not last longer than midday. This time I was lucky. I decided to take it along with me to work because I want to enjoy it as long as I can and to share it with my friends. This joyful moment is not last long but I am waiting to see its next blooming. I don’t know exactly when but I know it will bloom again for sure.

Flowers are blooming.

Here, I'm back again. It was while ago since I last updated this blog. I would say, from now on the theme of this blog will be changed. When I first created this blog, I set a goal to write something about my experience in the States. But now, I'm in my homeland and the memories of the States are fading. So........what will be a good topic to begin my blog once again?




One of my friend suggested "why don't you go for flowers blooming?". I said to her, "well, my flowers aren't blooming everyday". What if they don't bloom for me? What will I do?

Luckily, today one of my cacti is blooming. It's very beautiful. That's why my first topic is "Flowers are blooming"

This photo is just an introduction of my cacti collection. I don't have a photo of the blooming one yet....please wait.